J. Krishnamurti: A Biography by Pupul Jayakar

Author:Pupul Jayakar
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
ISBN: 9789351182849
Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd
Published: 2017-07-31T04:00:00+00:00

Part 5

Changing Horizons 1962-1977

Chapter 24

“People Who Are without Creativity Build Dead Institutions.”

Krishnaji left India in March 1962. One period of his dialogue with the land of his birth and his friends was over. He would never be the same again. The Krishnaji who had laughed with us, walked with us, been overwhelmed by the beauty of the land ; who had looked at the poor and the rich with compassion; listened to the voice of thousands; healed inwardly; taken the hand of a friend and led him through the labyrinth of the mind, pointing out, discussing, taking over the burdens of pain and sorrow—this Krishnaji would vanish. A new Krishnaji would emerge—stern, impatient, questioning. All personal relationships would undergo transformation. He would be compassionate, but he would also be the teacher, demanding answers to fundamental questions. All great laughter and play had ended.

From Bombay he flew to Rome. He was met by Signora Vanda Scaravelli. On his arrival Krishnaji fell seriously ill, first with fever and then with an attack of mumps and kidney trouble.

The discontent and the distance between Krishnaji and Ra-jagopal and his friends in Ojai was increasing. A new group of people vitally interested in Krishnaji and the teaching had come together in Europe. The first Saanen gathering in Switzerland, which Rajagopal reluctantly permitted to be organized in 1961, had drawn people from all parts of the world. Krishnaji sensed a new movement in the West, and his response to the situation was total.

He was not to return to India in the autumn of 1962. In his talks with Vimala Thakkar at Gstaad and later in Rome, he had spoken of his deep apprehensions about India. That the Chinese attack had distressed Krishnaji deeply was apparent from his letters. He was worried about India. After the talks in Saanen, Krishnaji was ill again. He wrote to me of being worn out, traveling, speaking, meeting people. His system, the muscles and the membranes, needed toning up. So he decided not to return to India in the winter of 1962, but to stay on through the year in Italy, resting, regaining his vitality, and conserving his energy. In the traditional language of India, he went into retreat, generating tapas.a

Krishnaji returned to Delhi on October 21, 1963, after eighteen months in Europe. In the car on the way from the airport, he spoke of not being in contact with people. While abroad, India had rarely been in his consciousness. On his arrival in India, one sensed that the spontaneous flow of feeling that India evoked through the years was missing. He seemed distant.

Madhavachari was in Delhi, and every evening we walked with Krishnaji in the Buddha Jayanti Park. I asked Krishnaji why various people could follow his teaching up to a point and not further. He said, “That is so,” and appeared very grave as he walked ahead of us; on his return we carried on from where we had left the conversation. He felt that man lacked an energy that knew no conflict; energy that knew the discipline of attention and of total denial.

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